Three giant alien spaceships are heading for Earth! Scientists predict they will arrive in early 2011.
UFO encounters continue to increase – as documented on WWN. And today scientists at SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), an independent non-commercial organization, made a major announcement:
“Three giant spaceships are heading towards Earth. The largest one of them is 200 miles wide. Two others are slightly smaller. At present, the objects are just moving past Jupiter. Judging by their speed, they should be on Earth by early 2011,” said John Malley, the lead extraterrestrial expert at SETI.
The spaceships were detected by HAARP search system. The system, based in Alaska, was designed to study the phenomenon of northern lights. According to SETI researchers, the objects are extraterrestrial spaceships. They will be visible in optical telescopes as soon as they reach Mars’s orbit – sometime in March of 2011. The US government has been reportedly informed about the event.
SETI researchers have spent fifty years monitoring space. Professor Malley said that they have conclusively proven that “we are just newcomers in this huge and unexplored world. Many believe that there are many other civilizations in space beside our own civilization.”
Wikileaks recenlty released many classified documents that prove that NASA and high-level U.S. official are aware of the three spaceships and are making plans to battle the spaceships. They have been concealing information from the U.S. public for decades. Wikileaks also confirms that the UFO sightings over the last three months prove that the alien invasions (long predicted by SETI) has begun. The three spaceships will mark the official beginning of the alien invasion.
Malley said that recently a Chinese official, Mao Kan, had obtained over than 1,000 secret NASA photographs depicting not only human footprints, but even a human carcass on the surface of the Moon. Some of the bones in the carcass were missing, the official said. The human corpse must have been dropped on the Moon from an alien spaceship, whereas the extraterrestrials kept some tissue samples for research.
Dr. Ken Johnston, former Manager of the Data and Photo Control Department at NASA’s Lunar Receiving Laboratory, said that US astronauts had found and photographed ancient ruins of artificial origin on the Moon. US astronauts had seen large unknown mechanisms on the Moon.
Both Johnston and Mao Kan agree that the alien spaceships are heading for Earth.
Beginning in February of 2011 the U.N. will begin preparing citizens of the world for the attack of the three spaceships – which are believed to come from Planet Zeeba.
LOS ANGELES – Khloe Kardashian revealed on her reality show tonight that she was impregnated by an alien.
The reality TV star who married Los Angeles Lakers, Lamar Odom, in September 2009 after a whirlwind romance, admitted on the premier of her show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, that she wants to have a child and was worried about being able to conceive.
She said: “It’s in God’s hands, and let it happen when it happens. I’m 26. It should happen naturally. I don’t want to force it. I would love to have a baby, and if I get pregnant, I get pregnant. I don’t think, like my biological clock is ticking!”
However, Khloe’s husband – who has a 12-year-old daughter, Destiny, and eight-year-old son, Lamar Jr. ,with ex-girlfriend Lisa Morales – does not share the same view. Khloe said he wants to have a baby “right now.”
Lamar said, “The clock is running down, there’s five seconds left and we have no more time outs. Let’s get this done!” When Khloe said that maybe they should call Kobe Bryant because “he’s good at finishing the game” Lamar said, “I can finish strong. Now get in that bedroom. I’m gonna shoot, I’m gonna score!”
So since they were having trouble, stepfather, Bruce Jenner (a certified alien) contacted his friends on Planet Zeeba. On the show Khloe said, “Bruce got in touch with them and… the next thing I know there was an alien in my house and today, I woke up pregnant! Lamar and I are so excited.”
Khloe wouldn’t say how the alien impregnated her and would not say whether Lamar was involved or not, but… the alien sneaking out of her house looked very happy. The alien would not speak to WWN, but Bruce Jenner said, “Every birth is a miracle. And this baby is going to be… out of this world!”
The alien baby will be born in about two months (aliens have shorter gestation time). After that the baby will be taken to Planet Zeeba to be programmed (and de-programmed). Jenner said, “they have a special Kardashian Abduction Center, so we expect things to go smoothly up there on Zeeba.
According to Jenner, if the baby is a boy, he’ll be playing for the Lakers in sixteen years. If it’s a girl, she’ll be pregnant in sixteen years.
We wish Khloe, Lamar, and Kree (teh alien) all the best.
Here’s a promo from the E show, highlighting Khloe’s morning sickness. No mention of Kree… but he doesn’t mind. He scored.
RED PLANET – Good news for the unemployed.! There are no jobs on earth anymore, but they’re hiring on Mars!
Weekly World News recently spoke (via saliva microbial voice translation) to Jeddak Sojak from the Kaor Colony about the job situation on Mars. Sojak told WWN that “there is a great need for skilled employees on Mars. We are expanding rapidly, so there is guaranteed work for at least the next five hundred years.”
Dr. Robert Rinderman, a former neurosurgeon at The Mayo Clinic in Minneapolis, lost his job when the new healthcare bill was passed into law. “The hospital apparently didn’t want us trying to heal sick brains anymore – too costly. And it I was told that my salary was too much for their bottom line, so they canned me.”
The 35-year-old Dr. Rinderman was out of work since March 23 and couldn’t find a job anywhere. “They keep telling me I’m overqualified, but I’m good at cleaning dishes. They call me Mr. Sparkle at home.” He tried everything: Monster.com, careerbuilders.com, match.com… he even went door to door and offered to operate on people’s brains at a big discount. There were no takers. “The economy is just so bad out there. Nobody has any money. Not even for a basic craniotomy.”
Lucky for Rinderman though, he decided to take a hike in the Western New Jersey Desert (it’s small, but has some wonderful sticky sand). He sat down on a petrified rock and… cried from deep in the center of his amygdala over losing his brain job.
His tears fell on the rock (which was placed there by Martians in 579 B.C.) and the tear-vibrations were picked up by Sojak. “We’ve had a lot of Earth beings crying on our rocks lately. We want to help them out, give back a little. Humans beings have been our experimental mice forever.” Sojak had Rinderman abducted and brought in for a job interview. And guess what?… He got the job!
Rinderman works all day in an aluminum room keeping track of Martian movements in the U.S. Rinderman’s territory is Washington D.C. He is charged with tracking the whereabouts of over 3,200 D.C. Martians. “Most of them are on Capitol Hill,” Rinderman said.
Sojak wants all WWN readers and all unemployed citizens of Earth to know that there are plenty of jobs on Mars. “Screw Earth. That planet is SO last millennium. Come to Mars!”
If you are interested in working on Mars, go into the woods, find an old rock, sit down and start crying. The Martians will find you.
OR you can just go to Washington D.C. and ask the nearest Senator or Congressman. They’ll know how to get to Mars.