MEL CALLED BACK TO ALIEN MOTHERSHIPPosted: July 29, 2010
LOS ANGELES – The Alien Mothership hovering above Los Angeles finally had enough of Mel Gibson’s racist tirades and has called him back home.
In a recent two-minute recording posted by RadarOnline.com Mel Gibson is heard telling his then-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, that she is dressing too provocatively and that it would be her fault if she were raped. The recording is laced with profanity and Gibson even uses the N-word.
The Alien Mothership happened to be hovering above Malibu, looking to reclaim Lindsay Lohan, when they heard the recording of Gibson’s rant. Though most aliens on this mothership only speak Aramaic, there were a few that could understand what Gibson was saying. And they were not happy. “We’ve been keeping a close eye on Mel every since he starred in that dreadful crop circle movie, The Village. This was the last straw.”
A representative for The Alien Mothership informed the actor’s representatives that he would no longer be allowed to roam freely on earth.
Grigorieva had recorded the actor-director because she was afraid he might harm her. The actor is heard on the recording harshly criticizing Grigorieva for the way she dresses. He accuses her of lying to him about having breast implants. Gibson tells her at one point in the recording. “Keep them if you want to. They look like a Vegas bitch, a Vegas whore.” Several hulking aliens on board are already referring to Mel as “MVB” – my Vegas bitch.
The alien leader on The Mothership feels that Grigorieva has been wronged and told Weekly World News that the first thing he will do when Gibson is back on board is to give him breast implants, and replace his tongue with a slab of gefilte fish. “He needs to be taught a lesson, one that he will be learning every day for the next gazillion years while he is beaten with clubs and whips. We’re not letting him back on earth until he fully repents for his sins or he fully explains to us what Apocalypto was all about – whichever comes first. “
“You look like a (expletive) bitch in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of (N-word), it will be your fault,” Gibson is heard telling Grigorieva. “You provoked it. You are provocatively dressed.” Gibson was complaining about Grigorieva’s tight, green dress. It is the same tight dress that the Aliens say Gibson will be wearing for the rest of eternity.
The Aliens deny that they had previously sucked out Gibson’s brain back in 2006 when he went on an anti-Semitic tirade in Malibu.
Gibson was unavailable for comment, but his new spokesperson said, “Mel is enjoying his new tits.”