ALIEN TELLS LARRY KING TO LEAVE CNN

BREAKING – On the advice of an alien, CNN host Larry King announced that he will be leaving his nightly talk show this Fall. King, who has been a staple on CNN for 25 years, will transition to a part-time role at the network, hosting occasional specials on UFO sightings, alien abductions and Michael Jackson.

King discussed his decision on last night’s edition of Larry King Live. “Before I start the show tonight, I want to share some personal news with you. 25 years ago, I sat across this table from New York Governor Mario Cuomo for the first broadcast of Larry King Live.  Now, decades later, I talked to an alien here at CNN and he urged me to end Larry King Live this fall. CNN has graciously accepted, giving me more time for my wife, my kids and an extended trip to Planet Zeeba.”

Larry King has taped numerous shows on aliens and one of his most popular shows was about the federal government cover-up of the Roswell aliens. Critics have often complained that King was too soft when he interviewed his guests on these shows, but the reason for this became clear last night when Larry revealed the truth, “I was abducted by aliens in August 2003, shortly after I kissed Marlon Brando on air. I was abducted along with Tammy from Memphis and we spent a week being asked rudimentary questions by a hunch backed alien in suspenders. After inserting 20-inch needles into my groin, I asked my abductor to marry me.  Next thing I know, I was back on set.  Hello, Cleveland!”

The alien was unavailable for comment, but there are rumors that the alien repeatedly told Larry to hang up his suspenders but Larry had trouble hearing him.  Some believe the alien will be taking King back for another needle session. Anonymous sources at CNN feel that aliens have been running the entire network for the last ten years.  The investigative team at Weekly World News will be following up.

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